Ok. Bear with me. This is the first of a series of audition tapes for the various parts in the (non-existant) RDD TV Show. I'm not very skilled in the animation department, so these are pretty boring, and it took me a long time, but...practise makes perfect.

click right here to watch this cartoon

I hope it works. It should.

Due to Overwhelming Popularity of this single panel, I thought I'd set the CG'd version out here for all to see. Hehe. I love this one too.

 I was reading my comics again, and read the part about magical grapefruit.

    (This is another of my sketches. This one (which is quite longer than most) has been taken from my other site, http://reality23.blogdrive.com, which I just started as a replacement to this one. Soon this site will kick the figurative bucket, so that's where you'll want to update your links to...if you care about me at all)

SKETCH 11-A

God and the Stockboy

     Setting: God and a few of his buddies are sitting around heaven, laughing, and watching TV.
     Characters: God, other gods (2-4), Stockboy, Jesus
    
     God: ...So then I said to the guy, "That's not an oversized female lawn gnome! That's my wife!" 

    The Gods laugh hysterically.
    God walks over to the edge of the cloud and looks down.

God: Ah. Earth. It was such a beautiful place. I think Eden was my best work yet. It was such a-Jesus Christ! Would you look at that!

   Jesus walks into the room.

Jesus: What is it dad? Was George Bush being an intelligent human being?

God: For the last time, no, and I wouldn't get your hopes up...

   God points down.

God: There's a man...and a woman...gah!...doin' the.....act.....right outside my church!!

Jesus: Shall I get the broom?

God: No, son. Poking is too gentle for this attrocity...Zeus, wing me a lightning bolt!

Zeus: Sorry Chief, I'm all out.

God: Damn. Maybe I have some in the back. Where's my stockboy.
   Enter Stockboy.

Stockboy: Yes master?

God: What do we have in terms of lightning bolts?

   Sotckboy checks his clipboard.

Stockboy: None sir.

God: Damn! Where is Perun?

Stockboy: He's on vacation on Mercury.

God: Zeus's Son!?

Stockboy: No si-

God: Hey Zeus! Your employee is getting it on with your son!

Zeus: What!?

Stockboy: No sir, Perun is on Mercury. The planet?

Zeus: Oh thank God!

God: Your welcome...I guess...

    Everybody stops talking. Stockboy looks down and recoils in horror.

Stockboy: (He shouts in disgust) Oh God!

God: What.

   God looks down.

God: Oh right.....eww....so no lightning bolts huh?

Stockboy: None sir.

   God starts pacing the floor.

God: What about a plague?

Stockboy: Good idea sir.

God: How are we for lucusts? A good swarm would do well.

Stockboy: All out sir. You used up our supply last Thursday on Lindsay Lohan for using up one third of the Earth's sunless tanning soloution at the last awards show.

God: Right...man! Did that ever annoy me. How ever does she expect me to get a healthy orange glow?

Stockboy: I'm not sure sir. But our next shipment comes in on Monday.

God: But then it will be to late.....hey what about frogs? A good plague of frogs should clear things up?

Stockboy: Those are gone as well. You used them to clear up the locusts after they went on a rampage and chewed up all the stylish wooden furniture at IKEA.

God: What was I supposed to do? Leave them be and ruin my chances of purchasing such a supremely designed, Swedish "Lillberg" sofa?

Stockboy: Sorry sir.

God: What about rocks? We can pelts rocks can't we, that's always good fun.

Stockboy: Nope. All out.

God: All out of rocks?

Stockboy: Yep

God: How about bricks?

Stockboy: Nope.

God: Knives?

Stockboy: Nope.

God: How about a house.? The news will just blame it on a rogue tornado.

Stockboy: Fresh out, sir.

God: Well what do we have.

    Stockboy checks his clipboard.

Stockboy: Well we have a wide selection of those little umbrellas you put in drinks?

God:....and?

Stockboy:...um...rhubarb.

God: Rhubarb? As in the plant?

Stockboy: Yes sir, and lots of it. We have tons of rhubarb.

God: Right...and what's the other option?

Stockboy: Drink-Umbrellas, sir.

God: Drink-Umbrellas and rhubarb.

Stockboy: I believe you've been in worse situations before, sir.

God: Drink-Umbrellas and Rhubarb!?

Stockboy: Right...nevermind then.

God: I'm having a party soon, aren't I?

Stockboy: Tomorrow, sir.

God: Damn! I'll need those umbrellas!

Stockboy: You still have rhubarb, sir.

God: Can I turn them into rhubarb?

Stockboy: Sorry sir, your powers are at the dry cleaning.

God: So what can I do.

Stockboy: You could always forget about the drinks tomorrow and pelt rhubarb with little drink-umbrellas at these two...um....lovers, sir.

God: Wait a second, you want me to throw rhubarb with little drink-parasols stuck in them at those two people down there?

Stockboy:...um...yes sir, that is the idea.

God: And why am I not firing you?

Stockboy:..............sorry sir.

God: Right.

Stockboy: .............You still have the rhubarb sir.

God: Oh boy, all the gods are gonna laugh at me now.

Stockboy: Why is that? Sir.

God:....................Because, here I am, the most powerful God in the Existence of Existence, and the worst punishment I can conjure up, is a serious rhubarb-whooping.

Stockboy: But si-

God: "Hi, I'm God. I'm gonna kill you with Rhubarb."

Stockboy: Si-

God: "Hey guys, it's me, Jesus. Have you met my father, he's the Most Powerful God in the Existence of Existence!..."

Stockboy: But sir, y-

God: "...But you better watch out, he swings a mean rhubarb leaf!"

Stockboy: Sir. If I may?

    Stockboy takes his clipboard and throws it off the cloud.
    God watches in silence.

     I was sitting here, thinking, and the thought crossed my mind that maybe people want me to update my blog. Maybe it was the flaming bag of dog poop on my front steps with a note attatched, saying "update", or maybe it was the 50 hate-mail letters I recieve each and every day since about 3 days after my last post, but most importantly, I didn't want to upset all the people that count on my blog for cheering up their day, or providing hours of good, clean, wholesome, family-entertainment. I'm not gonna wuss out and be like everybody else and write something stupid like "I'm tired, wah-wah. I'm not gonna write anything."
     If you're gonna write something like that, don't write anything at all. I'd prefer to make the assumption that you're doing fine, and not ruin my day with high hopes that you'll write something to cheer me up. Maybe...just maybe...someone will actually write something of SUBSTANCE on their site!
     This whole clown thing has finally subsided in it's blatantly outrageous popularity. If anyone ever mentions it again, I will seriously vomit up my clown-hating guts. I DID IT FOR FUN** you guys, don't take things so seriously.  (** note the use of capital letters to emphasize a point...)
     On another note, our chamber music group is performing tomorrow. They finished writing the skit tonight, and we're basically gonna perform it BLIND. Our performance peices are ok, but the pieces I'm doing with Tyler's group are probably much worse. Wow...I totally forgot that I was in his group up until about 13.8 seconds ago. Now I have even more things to worry about. Hoorah!

That's my shpeal.

     Clark was nice enough to let me in his techy expertise. RDD now has a new home that won't get shut down by the host for mundane reasons...

I was looking for pictures of bacon (see top. There you go Robyn!) and was reminded of a self-portrait by Salvadore Dali.



Entitled: Soft Self Portrait with Friend Bacon

This made me laugh for almost an entire art class last semester.

Just thought I'd mention that the movie "Timeline" sucked and it totally butchered a completely awesome book. God, what were they thinking. Ever considered the rules of time travel? come on you guys! Actions have consequences! I mean...holy crap...if you were gonna do that you should have at least explained how it was possible that you could change the past without affecting the present, unless by doing so you created an alternate present which would hold the changes you created while the people in the real present would act as if nothing had happened, but really, that's impossible, or at least to travel back to that current past you'd have to stop yourself in the past, somehow avoiding a common time paradox, in which if you stopped yourself you would cease to exist. I know it's just a movie, but HONESTLY! Make it somewhat more realistic to those who have studied time travel (if it were somehow possible), or at least hose who have watched BACK TO THE FUTURE!!!!
Now I'm angry again.
I hate hollywood.
Michael Chrichton you're a genius, how could you let these dimwassers crap your story!?!?

    What's the deal? Nobody ever writes on their blogs anymore! It's like peoples' worlds have shut down temporarily and spacegods are feeding their brains "anti-blog-writing low fat yogourt". I just realized how wierd yogourt is spelled. Is it just me or does that look really wierd?? I got the soundtrack to "Edward Scissorhands" and it's really good music. So is Austin Powers, which I also got. We should totally play Austin Powers in jazz band. Get in a couple flutes.....and I know stampede or stetsons or something has probably played something like that in the past, but frankly I don't give a rat's (end of the rat with the tail sticking out of it).
    Just got back from the CPO, they (joined by the CYO) were playing the Saint-Saens Sympony No.3, which is one of my favourites, if I do say so myself. I saw Stephen playing, and I talked to Grayson for a while during intermission, until I accidentally used the phrase "toot my own horn" which kind of threw everything in a very awkward downwards spiral while ruining a perfectly good  expression in the process.
     I gotta wake up early to clean the house and cook breakfast for my mom, so I'll be signing off now.